Involved With a Married Man who Parent Past away?

I've been dating a married man for 2 years now. He still lives with his wife. He says he love me and want to have kids with me in the future since he has no kids but i think he really means it. He tells me of how he wants a divorce but he needs for me to finish school and continue my career. He dad past away 4 days ago. I could not attend the funeral, i could not console him the way i wanted to, instead i was mad at him and myself because i felt i could not be by his side. I feel that my inadequacy to support him through his time of need make me feel useless. I feel that i should call this relationship acquits. If i can not be by my lover side at one of the worst times in my life, what am i to him? what should i do? whats the truth? How would you feel in this situation? Thanks